bedroom recordings

by lauren.napier

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1.
On the mountain you've made your home Lost to melody and stone One hundred twenty months was ne'er enough For a farewell, my friend. Rest easy. Rest easy. Lists of what could still be done Lost to a clock we never spun. Speak to me in these chords I play, Sit beside me as I sing your face Rest easy. Rest easy. For the world shines brighter for your laugh. And the sky shines bluer in your photographs. Rest easy. Rest easy.
2.
Have you heard the news today? There's no room for you left. Lost the tarnished memories, Found the goodbye that I need Because there's so much more than this Childish way you keep the peace. This is not my mistake Though the ache I hold This is not my mistake It is yours It is yours All the pieces seemed to fit For a moment in time Again you sleep next to her And I've found other souls But their truth is still cursed By the taste of lies you left This is not my mistake Though the ache I hold This is not my mistake It is yours It is yours They say misery loves company But I'm not miserable yet I'll spend the night alone To regret and forget They say misery loves company But I'm not miserable yet I'll spend the night alone To regret and forget This is not my mistake Though the ache I hold This is not my mistake It is yours It is yours
3.
Quiet reflection looking back at me I almost knew her once She gazes, looking for a face Searching for something, for what she's not quite sure "She looks lost." "She is, my love." "But why?" "If you knew, then she'd know." Screaming answers to the questions they seek Tarnishing what knowledge they dare to own She gazes, looking for something more The one to reveal what she yearns to know "She looks lost." "She is, my love." "But why?" "If you knew, then she'd know." Looking glass of the choir and the flood Telling you what you see above As it is within, so without Time to seek, nothing left to doubt
4.
I shed tears I shed tears Just to drown you Just to drown you What is this secret you must tell to me Urgent enough to fuel you across land and sea What waits beyond pointed treetops green Along the waves white and silvery sheen I shed tears I shed tears Just to drown you Just to drown you Pavement leads you to strangers once again So many threads the needle hides the end
5.
How dare you How dare you be here I told you, it was not you I fear It's the way he watches It's the way he howls It's the way he watches when you go Leave me to the shadows I don't need your rescue Follow me, follow me to darkness I'll show you where we can hide Away from the lights Away from the sounds Away from the excess of the crowds Six pairs of eyes Ever watchful Solace or demise Ever powerful Leave now or, leave now or be still A strange scent will bring them near This way a brambled path This way along the shore This way we'll shun the sharpness of their stares Leave me to the shadows I don't need a daydream Leave me to the shadows I don't need your rescue
6.
Seeing you again is like takin' penicillin with wine Nullifies the effects but the numbness sure is fine Told myself this was a cycle I would break Between the wine and the memories there's only so much I can take So kiss me back to the past, back to the red dress and a lie that would last Touch me back to the day where a vision was made without a glimpse of your way Kiss me back to the past Seems to me you've changed, could just be the city we're in Even told myself the person before me could be a twin Find the way through a past of broken paths Away from the light and the sighs of the last So kiss me back to the past, back to the window and crows on the sill Touch me back to the day, before I knew I would ask you to stay Kiss me back to the past A combination of masochism and lazy Means I didn't wait until my heart she forgave me I swallow the cycle I choke on the salt And I wait.... Your skin might make me burn but what puts out the fire It takes some time to heal from a loss of fleshly power All those times the hand touched the coals A second too long and the story unfolds So kiss me back to the past, back to a red dress and a lie that would last Touch me, even today despite a glimpse of your way Kiss me into the past.... Oh, kiss me into the past... Oh, kiss me into the past...
7.
Who is that man in the window? The one with the sleepy grin It seems he's waiting for me today His eyes beckon me in Where have I been hiding he asks His voice growls like late morning If hiding and seeking were one 'n' the same I'd have an answer for him But there's one grey sky hanging over the city And four days left to find the door But at three o'clock in the morning There's just two in the windowsill "A penny for your thoughts," he tries to bargain And I feel I would tell him all To a soundtrack of strangers and drunken brawls A stillness is welcome here "Do you smell that in the air?" he wonders There's something sharp in the storm It's the smell of passion and time burning And yet the cat's asleep on the floor But there's one grey sky hanging over the city And four days left to find the door But at three o'clock in the morning There's just two in the windowsill Come and tarry not There's so much to say I'll hurry not Tonight I want to stay But there's one grey sky hanging over the city And four days left to find the door But at three o'clock in the morning There's just two in the windowsill
8.
Another skeleton The house feels empty Like when you were here, some time before. To have this space It takes two to walk away For one grows tired of standing in the cold Who do you think will wait for you When the words you say amount to dust Don't you know there's no honour among thieves A slur of speech is never enough Bones shine through the skin No appetite to listen Sure the standards are high But what do you value? When do ya find That point where enough is enough? It's not bold in the sand Or a secret, my dear. Who do you think will wait for you When the words you say amount to dust Don't you know there's no honour among thieves A slur of speech is never enough Years amount to Words turned to dust Time amounts to Words turned to dust Made stone by Words turned to dust Who do you think will wait for you When the words you say amount to dust Don't you know there's no honour among thieves A slur of speech is never enough A slur of speech is never enough A slur of speech is never enough
9.
How nice to be someone's weakness She's waiting home for you You are here across the country. Lips closed, Heart open, I see you, but cannot touch you. Learn to forget me, my friend. Her name shall not cross your two lips. But she's hidden in your sweat And here she cannot feel you. Storm breaks Shots fired The details are in the tremors. Learn to forget me, my friend. Learn to forget me, I know it's not easy but necessary. A year ago, the letter I read from a lost, lonely boy and the heart that was turned away. Learn to forget me, my friend. Fresh stains on a new black t-shirt The hue will hide the damp of the fabric. Farewell Felt the sting Of two lips and a murder...
10.
Words uttered week ago were heard as truth What you call a wound has soaked and stained the sheets How does the truth change from day to day The sky in Seattle is the same shade of grey Oh, but I didn't mind saying goodbye Not sure I can let you go The mind it lies and ages with time But the heart holds on to sorrow The heart holds on to sorrow Hearts aren't that fickle but the mind of man is Offer up truth to quiet doubts held in hands Betrayal has a gasp and a sting But denial is what moans endlessly Oh, but I didn't mind saying goodbye Not sure I can let you go The mind it lies and ages with time But the heart holds on to sorrow The heart holds on, left to find another one The heart holds on and pleads that you were wrong The heart holds on The heart holds on to sorrow
11.
A gentleman offers his coat when the chill cuts through the silk A gentleman offers his hand when the night proves frightful His shirts are pressed His soul is quiet But a distant land does call him home A gentleman waits until the seagull is in the photoframe A gentleman fills your red wine before you can see through the glass His flight is on time His taxi waits outside For a distant land does call him home For a few hours take my arm For a few nights lull me to sleep For, in a few days, home will call For, in a few days, home will call A lady cleans her nylons the ones that match her gown A lady sits with the feline as the calendar counts down Her pearls are on Her mind is quiet But her life is in another place A lady paints her lips in a pink of roses past A lady writes a note in a book aboard a plane an hour away Her seams are straight Her heart is beating For her life is in another place For a few hours take my arm For a few nights lull me to sleep For, in a few days, home will call For, in a few days, home will call This lady she has always catered to restless feet Will the return flight ever have an empty seat Will you kiss her gently knowing the sun will see two? Will you For a few hours take my arm For a few nights lull me to sleep For, in a few days, home will call For, in a few days, home will call
12.
turn what you fear into ashes watch as it swirls with the dust a grit that feels of failure a slime that tastes of blood and rust burn with me burn with me stand against what makes the day seem clouded fight against whatever makes you weep A scream for the veins and the sinews A shriek for the everyday demands Cry with me Cry with me watch as the cities change their colors lit with the embers and the flames feel the heat of rage and sadness feel the heat of hardened hearts hope with me hope with me cry with me burn with me i said... hope with me cry with me burn with me
13.
I knew a man, one arm all black with ink A gun always under his bed And a feline by his side. His grin was ever charming But his words ever grey One night he was there It was just a day too late. Don't say I didn't warn ya I'm not too blame I've learned a time or two After they've whispered my name I knew a man, who lived by the sea side He believed in sex for money And not wounding his pride. He'll tell you that he loves you Next day he'll ride away Not worrying for tomorrow, For his sins are today. Don't say I didn't warn ya I'm not too blame I've learned a time or two After they've whispered my name I knew a man with a tiger down his back He never chose a path from the fire Still sifting through the ash His skin could spark fires And his hands did calm souls But he lied about his age and the past, he forgave Don't say I didn't warn ya I'm not too blame I've learned a time or two After they've whispered my name
14.
closed all the airports missed the taxi this time a bar of soap and a suitcase pressed firmly in my hand no ticket no guarantee sold on the phone lines just yet dust off my boots, babe, i'm going into the night Tra la la la - shut 'em down, boys Tra la la la - don't let 'em leave We should have riot on our hands Poured a cup of coffee checked the news again with the sun Found all the panic that I'd hoped left in dreams Where is the kindness we were promised in the past? dust off my boots, babe, it's time to find the light Tra la la la - don't shake my hand, sir Tra la la la - don't let 'em leave We should have a riot on our hands We should have a riot on our hands Turned around six airplane no entry this time Can't seem to find my bearings or a good night's sleep Keep your distance or the fever will keep you awake Dust of your boots, babe, we're going into the night Tra la la la - shut 'em down, boys Tra la la la - don't let 'em leave We should have riot on our hands
15.
It's four a.m. and there's no sleep. Just the shadow of the bed frame on the wall. Just yesterday, one year ago, words of forever fled from chapped lips with a smile. I need to get laid to rest I need to get laid to rest Without the time it takes to try, the body"s empty of the sighs for air. The eyes are closed. There's still the taste: a sour sip from a lonely cup of tea. I need to get laid to rest I need to get laid to rest
16.
And I sit here in furs I compose letters I'll never send The words sit on my lips Lining the shelves of my heart again And oh where have you been What are you doin'? And oh where have you been What are doin' to me? The thing, the thing of it is I know this is the last goodbye As much as I try to fight The inevitable burial Of our love as it is And oh where has gone Of our love as it is Where have you gone, my love? The flecks of green in your eyes They remain in the grass you see You've become just a piece Of my everyday scenery And oh what have you done? And oh where have you gone, what have you done To me What have you done To me
17.
Your name tries to move my lips Crosses over teeth and tongue I long to taste its sound But hush now, you must sleep. Sensed you through the windowpane Clock struck midnight ''twas already done The river he called to me And made your heart beat. Missed moments not a minute too late I guess I will catch you next time This moment we'll face yet again I promise I will catch you next time Sandy strands tickle memory As they shine against today's routine. Where do you sleep tonight? But, hush now, find me in dreams. A hand held: calmed around. Lead me and I will follow. Feel me over land and sea And make my heart beat. Missed moments not a minute too late I guess I will catch you next time This moment we'll face yet again I promise I will catch you this time Empty hotels Crowded stereos Remind me of you The space is full One thread remains One thread is sure, one thread is sure. Missed moments not a minute too late I guess I will catch you next time This moment we'll face yet again I promise I will catch you this time
18.
Momma, take your worried glance away from me I'm no stranger to the fault I heard voices in my sleep I knew that it was breaking but still I held to hope So do I say, so do I say I told you once your ignorance was pure Oh but darlin', I can explain no more The clouds have started to settle on your brow I won't defer to disregard I have found sweeter words An exit makes a wound, but still the blood it flows So do they say, so do we say I told you once your ignorance was pure Oh but darlin', I can explain no more
19.
Dear Momma, I can't find the right words to play my heartbreak Every note is damned out of tune Every string seems rusted Coated with the damp of the past and the tears of the past hour Every chord hits a bit sharp Every measure seems abandoned Dear Momma, stop me if you've heard this one before He said that I was made for him: a future made from raven curls How many times, can you recall He said the next years were shared The next few years were (h)ours Words on paper Thoughts from mind Pages empty of memories For future harmonies Erase these thoughtless lines Dear Momma, please just tuck me in and lock the door Every memory seems ghostly Every shadow has a smile Spectres of a life he dared to serve to me The knife once beside the plate Now drips upon the floor Words on paper Thoughts from mind Pages empty of memories For future harmonies Erase these thoughtless lines So I can sleep So I can sleep So I can sleep So I can sleep Dear Momma, please don't draw the curtains closed to tight I long to watch the stars appearing in the frozen night Take some comfort in the setting of the sun The silence of the darkness The promise of mystery Words on paper Thoughts from mind Pages empty of memories For future harmonies Erase these thoughtless lines
20.
Spare me the details My eyes are much too tired from the fights Words harmlike shining daggers My eyes are blinded by the light Moving on, as though nothing happened Tongue and tears between my teeth And, in spite, the heart beat on. And, in spite, the heart beat on. Secrets in silent sentences For truth, much to afraid to ask Hidden in sighs, unspoken conversations My hand in yours for tonight Moving on, as though nothing happened Tongue and tears between my teeth And, in spite, the heart beat on. And, in spite, the heart beat on.
21.
i thought my tongue was over you i thought small talk was something i could do but here you are, here you are my bones shook later on that night my mind combed over things to say but there you weren't, there you weren't you lie between the lines of my heart a tshirt left behind but, dear a tshirt is all left to tie us here for there you are, for there you are place an envelope in the mail place a thread in this heart to mend for here we are, for here we are you lie between the lines of my heart
22.
sorry is not a word i like sorry just whets the appetite for another thing you know you oughn't do for another thing you know you should not do away your mind has gone to roam away the feline sleeps alone it's another thing they never wished to do it's another thing they never wished to do bled dry of daily miseries bled dry of what you were to me cause the one side's cold and it is empty and the other is damp from the sweat of the dark of the dark sorry is not a word i like...
23.
i'm having trouble with the world today paired my coffee with the news what a mistake to make on a sunday afternoon the shells are on the floor today tissues on the floor today what a mess was made on a sunday afternoon cause i heard them say there would come a day when the leaves did fall and the sky she wept i awoke to screams again today a baby and an argument what a soundtrack on a sunday afternoon tents line the sidewalks now church clothes pass cardboard walls what a sight to see on a sunday afternoon cause i heard them say there would come a day when the earth she cried and the people wept cause i heard them say there would come a day when the earth she cried and the sky she wept
24.
Tell me, Prince Charming how many roses did you murder to woo your beloved today? Did you hear her when she said She's allergic to the petals you left beside her bed? Reminders that beauty does fade And that we all must be laid to rest Will you remember next time? Do tell, King Arthur How many knights have you gathered to show your might this time? Suits of shining armor paired against monsters of scales and skin. A sign that land cannot be owned without swords and shields to stand Will you win again this time? Oh, happily ever after is just a myth They're happy even after Dreaming of this So, say once more, Eric Who is the fairest maiden in all of the land? Will you win for her a bird and deny to her a gown bought by gold? A sign that her beauty needs no accents That she shines despite her rags Will they ever call her queen? Tell me, Prince Charming, How many roses did you murder to woo your beloved today?
25.
your eyes betray a thought of a few hours with so much to say and if i must sin please let it be your sweat i'm baptized in your sigh seems to say the light is growing dim and there's yet a long way but darling do not fear the stars are on the ceiling so this night must not end for tonight before i wake I have forgotten where i am - where i am never do know what you remember and what i should forget one thing is clear this is now and the scent of gasoline is near sigh once again taste the salt upon your lip inhale lie to me this is home and i am safely drowning in your sea... for tonight before i wake I have forgotten where i am - where i am

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a collection of bedroom recordings.

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released May 13, 2017

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lauren.napier Tacoma, Washington

Inspired by all forms of energy and art, lauren.napier (PunkRockDoll) takes comfort in the written word and in creative performance. With this latest musical incarnation, she hopes that you feel as though you are sitting next to her, surrounded by candles and the pull of the moon. Most sounds were written on her guitar, Görli, with productive tears, new addresses, and a few sips of whiskey. ... more

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